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Q: I'm a christiam, and I am pretty good. Like, I've NEVER smoked or drank, neeever had sex, or even dated/kissed a guy yet! And of course I'm straight. I'm known as the inocent one in my group of friends, the one everyone knows to shut up about that type of stuff around.
Okies so, I like to read some manga. (Japanese comics) I go to this website oniline and it's a place where you can read free manga scans. Of course there's some adult/mature manga on thissite. Sometimes I get some...Urges... (I think you know what I mean.) Sooo, I look up some of that adult stuff. Like, I love romantic stories. So whn I get those... Urges... I look up adult romance stories. So it's love-dovey love story, but it shows some nudity and, there are some sex scenes. But, and I am ashaamed to admit this, I look up yaoi sometimes when the... urges..., get really bad. (Yaoi is'guy on guy') There are some pretty hard core sex scenes and sometimes I can't help myself... Is this wrong? I feel so guilty afterwards. I don't masterbate or anything, I just look that stuff up every ONCE in a WHILE. So, am I being wrong?
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I know everyone else is going to disagree with me but they are free to post their opinions and you are free to consider their viewpoints. So, I offer my viewpoint as a Christian who has had some familiarity with pornography.
Sexual urges are natural, driven in large part by biology (body chemistry). One should not feel guilty about feeling those urges. However, the experience and expression of those urges are shaped by psychology. Things you see and hear, your experiences, and the contextual framework of your values all play a role in how your sexuality functions in your life.
Part of the problem with the things you are viewing is that they are fiction and fantasy and set up an image and expectation of sex that is unrealistic. Your biological responses don't really know the difference, they respond quite well to fantasy and fiction. The problem is that this response essentially programs your sexuality. Your mind and your body form connections between the stories and the images and your sexual responses. This will have an effect on how you experience sex with a real human being in the real world, and the reality is almost certain to fall short of the fantasy.
The guilt you are feeling is due to the nature of the images and stories you are taking in. They violate your values in a number of ways. By violating your values concerning sex, you are bringing shame and guilt into your psycho-sexual mindset. Some would suggest you change your values as a solution. Another equally valid (and, in my opinion, better)solution would be to avoid those things which violate your values.
By avoiding the things which are at odds with your values and those things which set up an unrealistic, fantastical idea of sex, you are free to get married free of guilt and shame and you and your husband are free to shut the door and do whatever feels good and exciting and loving that your crazy little minds come up with. Your experiences won't be constantly compared to stories and images from a fantasy world. You'll be free to explore your own sexual world and your new discoveries and peak experiences will be with each other, which will help build a strong and healthy marriage.
Once again, I acknowledge that most others will probably strongly disagree with me. I'm not here to argue with them or tell you what to think. This is my opinion offered for your consideration.
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Very sound advice. Thank you very much! I agree. 8D
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Info
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Gender: Male Location: Minnesnowta Occupation: Mail Processing Equipment Mechanic Age: 51 Member Since: May 30, 2011 Answers: 76 Last Update: April 25, 2014 Visitors: 4773
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