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I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
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My boyfriend and i have been together for 10 months, and 3 weeks. hes always counting, im always counting, hes 16, turning 17, im 15 turning 16. were very much mature. we love eachoher alot, and everyone knows that, im upset.. my boyfriend went on vacation with his friends for 3 days, and came back and somwhat changed, not entirely, but he kept talking about wanting his space. so i spazzed and cried, and just seemed like he didnt care, i talked to some friends and they told me to give him his space, so i did, and now that hes back home, and im barely calling him or anything he keeps calling me and wanting to talk to me, but im turning the tables and telling him i want my space, he says i understand and stuff, but he keeps calling me, and when i shut my fone , he calls my sisters fone and sends me SMS voice mails, like, i dont know if i should be worried that he asked for his space, and when i gave it to him and want mine he keeps begging me to call him back ,and hes like :( ok i understand but then we shut and he calls again. i just dont understand what hte hell "space' means.. i beleive that if you really love someone all your time is with them.. can someone just please explain to me what is going on? (link)
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Lord.
Let's recall a phrase.
"I turned the tables on him"
Your boyfriend is perceptive, I'll give him that. I would have said "you're punishing me" too. My wife and I had the same problem.
Many guys are somewhat independent. We entertain ourselves, we have our own independent hobbies and interests. My wife and I watch shows together, hang out, but we also spend time apart doing our own things. Sharing an apartment often we'll just be in the same room on our computers with a movie in the background doing stuff, while others we cuddle up and watch or play something together, or go out together.
My wife, when we first moved in together, wanted to spend every night with me. I like having some time to myself on about a daily basis, and that conflicted. The point here is compromise. Sometimes you have to let him be independent and alone, sometimes he needs to drop what he's up to and spend time with you. There's no set amount here, it's based on what you both need and finding the best balance to keep you both happy.
You punished him by "showing him how you feel"
The thing is, he's trying to get what he needs, and you're trying to make him feel bad because you don't want to compromise on yours.
Flat out, that's selfish and immature. He's rightly worried when his girl of 10 months stops talking to him. Space is not a cessation of contact when one of you thinks there's a problem. Space is both of you being perfectly fine not being together 100% of the time.
Talk to your boyfriend. Apologize, because you were wrong. Tell him that you don't want to suffocate him but that you have needs to,and you want both of you to be happy. Ask him what exactly he thinks he needs, and keep the dialogue open because he might not have it all worked out for himself yet. He is, after all, not even 17 yet.
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Rating: 5
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You really helped me, but you kno whats weird? i did NOT add the "and i punish him" part, i swear. i dont know it was weird, i opened advicenators and i remember i only wrote "my pboyfrend wants his space? " i never said and i punishd him, i guess someone of my family probably did that to pss me off, but your righ, thanks so much for your help.. i appreciate it=)
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