Bio♥
Hey, I'm Melody! I've been giving advice on and off since 2003. I'm a 23 year old military wife, expecting a baby boy in August, and working on my Bachelor's degree. :)
Oh, and ask me anything!
Advice
I am a 41 year old female. I work a 12 hour shift from 7a-7p. I am pretty good friends with the girl who relieves me @ night. She has a 4 month old baby who is precious. Her mother has been keeping him for her but is going to be out of town for a while (month or two). Her husband drives a truck and leaves all hours of the night. Now she is asking me to either keep the baby every night on the days we work or to swap shifts with her and work nights until her mother gets back (not sure when or even IF). I love her and the baby but I have my own 2 kids and a husband that also works day shift. If the baby won't sleep we will both be sleep deprived! I am usually exhausted when I get home and don't know if I can handle a baby. If I do swap shifts with her, my kids (who are 13 and 16) will be there while I try to sleep during the day. They can take care of themselves, but NOT stay quiet all day! What if her mother decides not to come back and I get stuck on night shift?! How can I get out of this, or is it selfish of me to refuse? I love her and don't want her mad. She is putting it like she'll have to quit if I can't do this. I don't want to be the blame if she loses her job. Please help!!
It is not selfish of you to refuse, and it is not your responsibility to watch her children. The fact that you are even considering changing you and your family's schedule to help a friend out is very admirable, but you have to think of you and your family's needs first.
Explain to her that due to you and your husband's shifts, you must be home for your kids. You can also politely suggest that you watch her baby once or twice a week when she needs you, but that you are unable to keep the child every night because you will be exhausted throughout the day due to your own children. You can also tell her you can work her shift only when she absolutely cannot be there.
It will not be your fault if she has to quit, because this situation has nothing to do with you. I am surprised she even asked you for such a huge favor, but just because she asked does not mean you have to accept.
If she gets mad, it most likely will not be at you. Good luck!
I was rated a <--fbscore--> ♥
(Rating: 5) Thank you for your answer! And for the explanations to give her. Helped me alot!!