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Q: Ok. Well, I have a friend....let’s just call her "D". Ok, this is a really long story, so hold onto your hats!
Anyway, so D and me have been friends since the 6th grade. I had moved from my hometown in the fourth grade and had been friend less. Then middle school came around, and I had always sat alone at lunch and stuff like that. Then she randomly talked to me one day, and we had been friends since. Well, I am now going into 9th grade, and I think I’m going to go crazy! Lemme explain. 6th grade was a total blast! She introduced me to all my best friends I have today. We have our own little group thing going on, (except we are considered the "Weird people group". But, that’s ok, since we are having fun. But, that all changed in 7th grade. Suddenly, we were all changing, and all the drama started. At least 1 new fight a week! It got a little better in 8th grade. But it seems like D is almost always the cause of it! She’s suddenly turning "Emo" now, and when there’s a party or something, she and another Emo friend of mine "T" bring it down and sit and sulk. She then started cutting herself, and then eventually got me into cussing. (I’m a major Christian FYI) I got outta that habit though. She constantly annoys the CRAP outta me! She always starts drama, and complains a ton, she always says she'll call me back but claims to "forget" to. And she always gossips, tells other peoples secrets to me! So, I can't really trust her all that much, since she might go and tell mine. She hasn’t been fitting into our group that much lately. No one really seems to like her anymore. She hurts my feelings a lot too. Anyways, my point is, she’s annoying, but I don’t know what to do. If I get mad at her, she doesn’t do anything, and I have to end up apologizing for getting mad at her, when it was her fault. It hurts, cuz she doesn’t care. I did a pro-con list about if I should be her friend or not. The results were: 24 con, 4 pro. What should I do?!
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Unfortenatly that happens a lot.
I'm in college now and I went through a couple of "best friends" too.
People change and that is all a part of growing up. (Not that your like a baby or anything that's not how I mean it. =])
I wouldn't really actually get mad at her and I really wouldn't even say anything to her that's rude or nasty.
For me, I was so busy with the things going on in my life that me and the girl I went through that stuff with in middle school, just drifted apart.
And, honestly we don't hate each other at all.
I've seen her in the past and we've always been able to smile at each other and say hello and everything so, there were no hard feelings.
I would say to just try not to hang around her as much, and if for any reason she asks you, just explain to her that you really feel like you two don't have much in common anymore and your lives are going in different directions and that you really care about her and everything and your not doing it to be rude it's just how things are going right now?
If she hurts your feelings, she's not a good person to surround yourself with, and if she is more negative and complains and your more positive then that can also cause a lot of problems.
You two I'm sure had a great friendship, but this happens to everybody.
I was friend with a girl for 10 years and pretty much after high school we never talked.
We'll always have our memoires but, we both are complete opposites.
She's an amazing girl, like I'm sure the girl is that your talking about.
But, you have do to what's best for you and surround your self with people that fit into your life and with your personality.
So, I'm just saying what I did and what I would do is just nicely and without her really knowing, just give yourself space from her.
I think eventually if she already "forgets" to call you and stuff that it'll die down and you two can still be nice to each other but you won't be "best friends" anymore?
I don't know, I hope this is what you were asking and that this helps. I guess it's kind of hard for me to explain but, I've been there so it's tough.... Sorry if I couldn't help. Good luck! =)
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Thanks! That was GREAT advice. But, I'm too much of a chicken to do that. The telling her "just explain to her that you really feel like you two don't have much in common anymore and your lives are going in different directions and that you really care about her and everything and your not doing it to be rude it's just how things are going right now",I mean. I CANNOT ever hurt someones feelings on purpose. And even if it doesn't hurt their feelings, I'll still end up apologizing even if it was the other persons fault. You see, thats why I never got caught up with the drama in our group much because i'd just apogize next class. >.< It really bothers me sometimes. I just don't know what to do about that part. But, the rest of it, the part about you being there before, that makes me feel a little better knowing that I'm not the only person. Really, thanks for the advice. Sorry this was so long, and sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. I got grounded, and now I'm FINALLY free! MWAH HA HA!! xD
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bio
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Hey! =) I really love my life and the things and people in it. I love fashion, make-up, going out, dancing, teaching dance, and being with my friends and family. I feel very blessed for the things I have. It took me a while to get to this point though and I know that growing up, and even people my age, you need advice about certain things every now and then. I've always had people give me advice about things and I've been able to use their advice through my own experience and mistakes and come up with some of my own things. And now I'm the one always helping my friends out. I always have new ideas that I love to share. And well, I can't promise I'll always be able to help or give you the answer you're looking for but, I'll definitely do my best. =)
Also, whether you ask me a question in my inbox or I answer one alone I normally ALWAYS add in my experiences because for me, I like to know when people can relate and aren't just guessing, it's easier when someone has actually been through it. And I'm not going to do any favors by lying, so I am ALWAYS going to be honest. But keep in mind just becasue of my experience and my honesty does not mean I am always right and I understand that. Feedback is appreciated to know what I can work on with certain answers, not demanded.
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Info
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Gender: Female Member Since: June 22, 2008 Answers: 77 Last Update: July 18, 2009 Visitors: 6991
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