Member Since: January 30, 2008
Answers: 25
Last Update: February 9, 2008
Visitors: 2588
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I'm 24 and just finishing college. I've been seeing this new guy and he has a kid. I was really afraid to get involved because of the kid but now he wants me to marry him... I think I want to but I'm not sure if I can handle the drama with the ex.... Help! (link)
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I have been in your situation. I have a 4 year old and am in the middle of a very expensive custody battle with my ex and his new wife...I have a new husband as well...and it's a messy situation. I don't know what else to tell you other than you have to decide what is more important to you...Sorry if my advice didn't help, but I have been in your shoes, and I have had to deal with my ex's new wife telling my daughter to call her mommy. The roles are reversed, but I do sympathise and I know how you feel.
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You have to do what feels right for you. If you can't accept his child, then obviously you already have your answer. The only way to get through the ex drama is to be plesant and work through it. The ex obviously has fears about you having a part in her childs life, and thats normal. Try to put yourself in her postition. If you were the childs mother and your ex wanted to marry someone that she doesn't know. It's scary. If you really love the guy and want to spend the rest of your life with him, then you have to accept the emotional baggage that comes with it. It sounds to me that you are too unsure, and thats not how you are suposed to feel about the man you should marry. It's a important lifetime commitment, and if you don't feel that you would be able to handle it, then you shouldn't even be thinking about getting married. Have you tried to talk to him about your feelings regaurding his ex and child? Sometimes it helps to talk openly with people if you are feeling doubts about your future with him. Good Luck, but it sounds to me like you already have your decision made, you just have to tell him.
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Rating: 3
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I never said that I could not except his child, I said I have a hard time with his ex. I do know his ex and she is constantly being nasty to me and my boyfriend. I have never been rude to her. As a matter of fact, I have tried to be nice but she is constantly throwing nasty remarks my way. She will get my boyfriend upset, me upset and his son will act up. Before you know it we are all upset. I'm sorry that you are in the situation you are in. Maybe you are nicer and more pleasant to deal with than my boyfriends ex is. I believe that I love him enough to marry him but I think he needs to find a way to stop letting his ex dictate how his mood will be. And on a side note it is funny that you say that your ex's new wife tells your daughter to call her mommy. My boyfriends son lives with us and sees his mom on the weekends. When he comes back, he is says nasty stuff just like his mother would say.... How do I deal with that?
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