about

I like:
- the social sciences, especially history (with interests in all types of areas) & sociology.
- computers -- doing an information systems major.
- reading; right now I'm into the classics and historical non-fiction.
- animals, especially dogs.
- helping people.
- travelling.
- being a repository of useless & trivial info.
- keeping up to date with world events & current affairs.

I hate:
- ignorance.
- fundamentalism.

I'm sure there's more.

advice

Alright, this is the thing. I HATE my highschool. Really, HATE it. So I've been pretty much miserable, which is why I've been skipping alot, and now I found out..because of this, I might not graduate. Now you'll probably never understand my culture, but there's nothing more important than education, My father has said it straight to my face "I don't care abotut your happiness, as long as you get into a GREAT university, and have straight A's" and last night he said "Go study! If you have any B's this year, I'll be really dissapointed, and you won't be my daughter!" And when I tried to tell him how dumb that is he said "I've only ever asked you for ONE thing in your life, and that's good grades, just that one thing..I think it's reasonable to ask you to do good in that" or something along those lines. I'm so scared :S and the thing is, since I've feared my father basically my whole life, I've never told him th truth about my grades, my mom has covered up for me, and told him I get straight A's even though I don't. And we were going to do that this year too, but now we can't..because I might not graduate. I can't stop crying, because it seems like there's no solution..I can not get anyone else involved, I can't ask my mother to help me anymore..I just can't. And I CAN NOT talk to my father, it's just not in my culture. So please..don't suggest any of those things. But..what can I do? Is there anything? Please help me :'(

Thank you!

Out of curiosity, what is your culture? I only ask because it sounds similar to mine (a certain Asian-immigrant culture); my parents are pretty easygoing compared to others, but they still value education greatly, and my friends often have had to bear the full brunt of academic pressure.

I don't know what to say... I've had to support friends before with issues like this, and from personal observations the truth has usually come out anyway, sometimes in a rather unpleasant manner. =( That said, the way I see it, you have two options:

1) Get the truth out. Somehow. I _know_ this isn't as simple as my words would suggest, and perhaps you don't want to hear this, but I don't see any way out of your situation in which your father wouldn't find out in the long run anyway.

2) Graduate. Somehow. Again, easier said than done, but this does depend on your feelings. Is it _this_ highschool you hate, or going to school in general? If it's the former, try to justify alternative educational paths in terms of education, e.g. summer schools, transferring schools = 'it'll pay off for my future', 'it's beneficial to my education', 'if I go to vocational college first, I'll have an advantage over others once I go to uni', etc. If it's the latter... I'm afraid the more you try to appease your father, the unhappier you'll become yourself.

Do you have a definite career path in mind? Some career paths don't require you to go to a prestigious uni straightaway, if at all. It just sounds like you're directionless and he's taken it upon himself to direct your path for you.

No matter what, you'll have to consider yourself first. You might cause your father and your mother unhappiness, or cause them to be disappointed in you. However, the situation appears to have reached such a head that any decision made will cause pain to somebody anyway. I think though that what your father wants the most for you is success and happiness, despite what he says -- he just absolutely believes that education's the best way to get it.

I'm sorry, I don't know if any of that helped -- it really is a difficult problem you're in. Are you positive there's nobody you can talk to? We can't help much. Good luck regardless -- it sounds like even changing schools, for example, might help you.

viviena (shirty@gmail.com)

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(Rating: 5) WOW thank you!! ♥ you're pretty much the best :o)
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