CheshireKat's advice column

===IN THE THIRD PERSON:===
Meet Kathryn: burlesquer, model, actor, ukulele-er, fantastic cook, and font of wise words and amusing anecdotes. She loves to listen to you and, if she can, help you with your troubles, or, if she can't help, direct you to someone who can. And that's why you're here, no? ~grins~

Kathryn is a person of wide and varied experience. Her only routine is to try something new every day. She has met many people in her travels from many different backgrounds, countries, and expertises. "Knowledge junkie" is something Kat frequently calls herself.

===THINGS I FEEL QUALIFIED TO GIVE ADVICE ABOUT:===
***romantic relationships
***general and nutritional health (I disclaim: I am not a doctor, nor a certified nutritionist yet...I merely have read a lot, experienced a lot in my own life, have personally heard testimonials on a variety of health issues and healthy lifestyle practises, and am a yoga instructor and Ayurvedic health consultant)
***sexual health
***technology (computers specifically, but other techie things like me too ^_^)
***philosophy, theology, and psychology
***social issues
***crafty artsy thingies (excuse the technical jargon)

===POSSIBLE POLITICAL/IDEALOGICAL CONFLICTS WITH YOUR OWN VIEWS:===
*I was raised as a Catholic (the Roman kind), I went to Catholic parochial grade school, I attended a Catholic high school (a Sacred Heart school), and now I attend a Catholic Jesuit university. Although I don't call myself Catholic or Christian, I respect and acknowledge the good things I was raised with.
*I am not prejudiced against any ethnic, socioeconomic, or cultural background.
*I am not prejudiced against any religion or spiritual path, including a lack of one (atheism, don't-give-a-damn-ism).
*I am not prejudiced against any sexual orientation or gender identity. I myself am romantically and sexually queer, physically female, mentally gender-f***ed. If you ever want to talk about sexual orientation and/or gender identity, don't hesitate to contact me! I am working toward a sexology degree, and these things interest me immensely!
*I don't care for politics very much, but I respect the people who are wise with their words and respectful to others.

===SOME QUESTIONS YOU MAY HAVE FOR ME (BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY ASK YOUR QUESTION):===
"You're only 24! You don't know anything about the world. How could you possibly give me advice on anything?" Perhaps I am fairly young to be giving advice to people. But I do know this: everyone who has ever come to me looking for counsel has always told me, either during or right after our "sessions", that I am not overly critical, that I am honest and fair, that I am sensitive and understanding, that I am open-minded and tolerant, that they can count on me to give a good outside objective perspective, and (something I think is most important in being an advisor) that I am a good listener.

"What types of things do you give advice on?" Well, I can give you advice on almost anything, really. If I personal experience with what you're asking about, I'll patch it through. If I don't, I'll put in my two cents and let you know where you can get more firsthand knowledge.

"Why do you write sooooo muuuuuch?"
I'm a writer, I blabber sometimes, heh. I do take a lot of care in my writing though, I want to give you a well-thought-out answer. But the other reason I write so much is because I don't want to give you a one-sentence reply, unless it's to a very black-and0white question like "What time does 'House' air on Tuesday in Cincinnati?"

===IN CLOSING:===
You got questions? Lemme at 'em!

I wish you all lives filled with tasty food, goofball antics, and people you love to share them with you.

~*Kathryn*~

advice

ok so i have this wonderful boyfriend and he is wonderful and all the girls in school like him but i also like my neighbor who is super hot. he has a great personality and he always gives me rides on his motorcyce and me and him made out once and kissed a couplle times and i could tell he is in to me to. i kinda see my neighbor as more boyfriend material because my boyfriend was my best friend in seventh grade and he seems like more of a friend to me now. and so my neighbor gets more sexual with me and i like it the aggresiveness. i dont know what to do i fell i love them both!!!

so your wonderful boyfriend is...wonderful? ^_^ sorry, i'm being a dork. ok, so let's look at this here. your boyfriend shall be henceforth known as popcorn, and your neighbour as butter. (lol, sorry, i work at a movie theatre, and i just came back from work, so bear with me, i have a point with those names, i promise)...

so you've got some wonderful popcorn (the boyfriend), but you like hot butter (neighbour-boy). well, unless popcorn is very understanding and let's you have some butter with him, you've gotta pick one, you can't pick both (i almost said "you can't have your cake and eat it too", but that would have been just throwing even more food analogies in here...). now while i give major points to any guy who owns a decent motorcycle, takes care of it, and can drive it (without showing off like a dumbass), and while personality and sexual prowess are important as well, those things don't necessarily make him better boyfriend material. what's wrong with having your boyfriend popcorn be like your best friend? i'm a firm believer that you should be good friends with both boyfriends and make-out buddies. :P also, not to accuse the hotsy butter here, but if he gets more sexual with you, there's a possibility that that's mostly what he wants, therefore not placing him under the category of "good bf material", at least not in my book.

again, there is absolutely nothing wrong with the making out stuff (unless you've been puttin' butter on your lips when you're really restricted to just havin' popcorn ^_^; that's not exactly fair the cinema snack or the artificial yellow fat, heh...), because believe me, i find it actually pretty important! but is that all you really want da butter for? if a make-out buddy's what you want, if you're comfortable with it, and if your popcorn-boy doesn't mind (which is hard to believe and rather unlikely), go find a good girl-friend of yours or just another girl who you wouldn't mind making out with. ^_^ i know that sounds a little funny, but hey, my boyfriend gives me permission, and it doesn't make me love or desire him less, it actually makes me love/desire him more!! oy, i am kind of a perv, aren't i? oh well. ways of any...

you want a more aggressive treat that popcorn, eh? good on you that you'll admit that. i myself like an aggressive guy (or girl, depending on my mood :P ha), and i'm lucky because my boyfriend is that way. i'd talk to popcorn about it and see what he says. or you could even bring it up, verbally or physically (oh sweet lord, i just realised that that could be taken REALLY badly... -_-;) the next time you two make out. tell him that it would be ok if he wanted to be a little rougher (or i suppose, more aggressive, if you like that phrase better) with you during the physical stuff and that he doesn't need to hold back. or try and gently tell him that you'd like him to be a little more aggressive. communication is so ridiculously and almost annoyingly important in a relationship. ^_^ and besides, who says the guy couldn't learn a few things? you'd be surprised at the results you get from a few questions and requests.

(prepare yourself for more movie theatre analogies :P) before you make a hasty decision at the snack bar of love (sheesh, that was awful ~_*), there are a few things you need to think about.

1) what do you want to get, something hearty and healthy that will probably last you longer, or something orgasmically greasy and good (i'm so dirty...) that won't last very long and your thighs will throw jewish-guilt on you later?? (basically, is your current boyfriend more reliable and trustworthy and there-for-you like a best friend--which is what a boyfriend should be like first and foremost, a best friend--than your neighbour who seems like the more exciting more desirable choice? also, a note: we always want what we don't/can't have. when you get the butterfinger minis, you sit down in the theatre and disappointedly wonder why you didn't get sour patch kids instead.)

2.) how much money do you have in your wallet? can you afford to get extra butter on your popcorn without suddenly tripping and dropping the bag of popcorn because there's so much hot butter in it?? (sorry, i'm gonna let you ponder that one. i'm tired, and it wasn't a great analogy, but i think you get the basic idea... ^_^)

just remember. you need to honest and forthright with both guys. if you like them, you owe it to them to talk these things through with them, completely, not partially. weigh your decision based on what you really want and how it will affect you three in the long run. the hotsy totsy neighbour will probably still be there for you to suck face with (if you'll pardon the expression that i borrowed by my bf's parents :P) if someday you break up with your boyfriend. and who can say? perhaps plain passive popcorn will transform into a spicy dish of nachos with jalepeno cheese!! (all right, no more movie theatre analogies from me for a decent amount of time.........)

hope this helped. good luck!

~*kitty*~

[view]

(Rating: 5) wow i love movie theater analogies i use them all the time haha

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>