askmandawhy
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Q: my best friend has been going out with this guy for a few years and he has a friend named dave that he lives with. i recently just starting hanging out with the two of them.(the boys) and to make a long story short, dave kissed me. we slept over their house last night and dave was kissing me and everything(after the lights were shut out when it was time to go to bed) ...and he will touch my hand and hold it and cute things like that when noone is looking, but today when i went over there, it was really weird because i wasnt sure if last night was just a hook up to him or if he really cares. the catch is that he has a girlfriend that he has been with for about a year. im not sure what to do because now i think i have feelings for him but i dont want to scare him away because i dont want him to think im immature or physco for not accepting "just a kiss". i eventually broke down and told my best friend what happened. she called him and asked him if anything happened between us(she was trying to act like she didnt know anything so that she could get information from him)..and he said "no nothing happened.." and was telling her that he thinks im attractive and really nice and all, but he loves his girlfriend...but then he said "i keep trying to tell myself that." ..but he didnt tell my friend about what happened...so i have NO idea what to do...and also, he keeps telling all of us(well, for the past 2 days...ever since i came around)..that he is sick of her and blah blah blah and doesnt think they will last anyways and all that. pppppplease give me any advice you can. thanks so much.
Wow. I recently was just in a similar situation for a year. He never left his girlfriend. Here's what you do, you don't get attached. It seems like this is already happening. Stop. You're young. Boys are lame. Dating is a bittersweet game, my dear. He is in a serious relationship, and obviously committed enough to her to lie about everything. He does not want to give her up completely. He obviously feels something for you. Whether it's just an attraction, or something more, you don't know yet. You need to ask him what his deal was the other night. Don't get real serious, you don't want to freak him out like you said. Just say something like, "So, what was your deal the other night?" And if he gives you an answer you don't like, give him an "Okay, whatever" attitude. And go about your business, being yourself. Obviously he is attracted to you, so don't go changing yourself to try to impress him or any of that jazz. Just go with the flow. I'm not saying, if it doesn't work out right now, it won't in the future. I'm saying don't make yourself miserable worrying about one guy, there are plenty more out there. Trust me. It'll all work out. Good luck.

thank you so much for that. it really sunk in and you're absolutely right. im not so sure that i can just forget about it and not get attached though. thank you so much again, everything you said made perfect sense and you are right. take care:)

bio
mandawhy
I've experienced divorce, death, mental disorders, heartbreak, pregnancy scare, and high school/college bullshit. Feel free to ask me anything to do with any of those topics, and I'll try my best.

The end.

Oh, and back stabbing "friends".

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August 15, 2005

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September 1, 2005

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