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hi i just recently discovered some suspicious actions coming from my boyfriend. on myspace in his inbox i discovered a lot of letters that he wrote to girls saying stuff like, "wow, you're beautiful". or "i could spend all night gazing in your eyes."
i started crying cuz in a way i think he's cheating on me in a sense by flirting with other girls. i confronted him about it, and he denies all of it saying that he was just bored and on myspace a lot of people ask to rate their picture. i still didn't believe him cuz his answer was unreasonable, and he kept telling me things like he specified that he was in a relationship (which is true) and he was just bored and i shouldn't take it personally. even some of the girls he commented on had boyfriends so he said i was overreacting. he also said that if he were to be cheating on me, why is he not going out to act upon his actions?
right now i really don't know whether to believe him or not.
i never talk to guys let alone look at them because i keep my boyfriend's feelings into consideration. what i told him was that if he was allowed to talk to girls (he talks to guys also, he's outgoing like that), then i should be allowed the same priveliges without having to feel guilty about it. do you think i made the right decision on telling him that?
i really don't know what to think. there's more to this story and i apologize if i made him seem like the evil antagonist here, but we've been together a log time and he's never cheated on me...i want to believe him, i really do. but why would he call other girls beautiful? why the word "beautiful" of all words?
any help is appreciated...
Hey, I've done the same thing on Myspace and have a girlfriend too. Trust me, complimenting another girl's good looks does not equal cheating! If you try to tell him he can't talk to other girls, you'll seem possessive and an overall annoyance. Don't try to control who he talks to or what he says to others; you really can't anyway. My girlfriend will run up and hug guys she knows, and even kiss them on the cheek, but it doesn't bother me. I can do the same with girls I know and she won't give it a second thought. The reason for that, is that we love and trust each other, and know that neither of us would do anything to hurt the other. She can take a shower at her ex-boyfriend's house and I wouldn't even begin to think that she would do something; not because I'm naive, but because I know her that well.
And you DO have the right to talk to other guys. You should never isolate yourself from the opposite sex just because you have a significant other. Do that, and you'll have a lot less friends than you would prefer.
And on another note, he did this OVER THE INTERNET. HAd he gone up in person and said it directly to a girl's face, directly in front of you, you may have a valid argument. But let me repeat, THIS WAS OVER THE INTERNET.
I highly doubt your boyfriend is cheating on you. If he is, this isn't the way he would go about it.
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yea i agree it's over the internet, but that doesn't make it equally less wrong. i'm not saying that i'm overprotective of him restricting him from anything (in fact it's the exact opposite), but really he does that to me. i think that he's a hypocrite for doing so in telling me that what guys i can and cannot talk to, where i can and cannot go with the risk of a guy hitting on me, and vice versa. realize that i don't do any of this willingly, but i respect that he just doesn't want to lose me so i go with it. i think it's wrong that he'd do something like this when i can't have any of the same privileges? also, what would compel him to do such deeds? boredom is downright unreasonable, not to mention the fact that he did all this behind my back. i highly acknowledge that this is occuring over the internet, but even so, it doesn't make it any different. a deed is still a deed regardless of where it takes place, especially if he has to be secretive about it. i'm not saying that he should consult me on every little thing he does, but being a hypocrite in something such as this does not go down in my book as something that i should just ignore. calling a girl beautiful, sure that would be permissible, but adding lines such as "gazing in your eyes for the rest of time" is a little shady to me. i admire you that you trust your girlfriend so well even at the presence of her ex-boyfriend and you never have second thoughts about it. i trust my boyfriend fully until i discover something like this that diminishes my trust for him. although i can read him like a book also, people inevitably change as time elapses sometimes for the best and sometimes for the worst, but that's something beyond anyone's control. thanks for the advice though, your input was greatly appreciated.
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