ask Zane

Currently on mobile, I am not able to accept inbox messages at this time.

Member Since: December 1, 2010
Answers: 2519
Last Update: May 20, 2013
Visitors: 15947
Rated: 11 times
Average Rating: 4

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rating changed by L2 mod. If you rate a 1 you better file an abuse report. The advise you were given may not have been what you wanted to hear...but it isn't abusive.

Yeah explaining didn't do anything. He keeps telling me to tell him the truth. I have a feeling he did something.

Thanks for the advice! The reason I waited so long, was because I had training yesterday with my colleagues. I was so close to calling my manager and telling him that I was unavailable to come in today because I was sick. But I went, and I was asked to introduce myself first (isn’t it always the way?!) and just before, my heart was pounding. When I got going though, I was fine. I did it all completely without fail. I was relaxed, cool, composed – thanks to your advice. So thanks again!

I'd like to take a minute and explain why I rated as I did. I was not talking about two different men in this post; I was talking about one man. Because you thought that I was talking about two people, I am lead to believe that you skimmed my post and jumped to conclusions. Maybe this isn't the case; maybe I was unclear in some way. I understand that my post was very lengthy and perhaps difficult to get through. However, when I ask for advice, I prefer to give as much information as possible because I believe that, without the proper context, it is hard for people to form a complete perspective of the situation. Furthermore, I'd like to clarify a few things. We have both talked to our doctors about our depression and received counseling in the past. (That's why we are both aware that some of our parents' behavior, however well intended, qualifies as a form of emotional abuse.) I also feel that it was assumed that neither of us pay attention to our emotional well-being and this lead to the conclusion that either one or both of us are emotionally unstable people.

Thank you. Yeah he is always been this way not trusting me. definitely time to pull away.

youre right

Thank you.

Lol awkward moment when i have no idea what ur talking about with the first part:p

totally agreed thank you!

Thanks for trying to help but that wasn't the answer I was looking for. I said I have no transportation or babysitter so there's no way I can try for those jobs right now please pay attention to the advice us people are looking for on here before you reply ok? But thanks again.

Thank you!

I was hoping for something that doesn't taste like mayo. Miracle whip tastes just a bit sweeter but it's almost the same.

Yes, you're right.

yeah but im not acting it

I haven't taken any actions at all yet to be considered selfish actually... I am wonderfully happy toward him and especially his child. I jumped into the relationship knowing what I was getting into. I did not know that I would be dealing with him seeing the Mother more than he sees his own two feet, and I am not quite sure if I am comfortable with him texting his ex who he claims to hate more than anything else almost every day. Thanks for your interesting opinion, but you did not really answer my question.

ty :)

Rating changed by L2 mod. Never rate someone a 1 unless you file an abuse report. This advice was in no way abusive. i wanted ways i can get it

Thanks I like the metallic necklace idea

Thanks.. I know I'm trying. It's just so hard to truly know if I should leave.

Thanks although it was a bit harsh you're right.. I broke up with my bf until I'm ready to be ok with my ex being with someone else. This helped so i appreciate it.

I haven't let it interfere with him in any way, nor have I mentioned to him that his lifestyle choice is wrong. And I've chosen to try and grin and bear it. Aside from his homosexuality he is a nice man. He goes out of his way to take me home and he works in a nursing home... Helps care for the elderly. I'm not going to say anything to him about it, I still feel uncomfortable about it but oh well.

Rating changed by L2 mod

Thank you so much. That really sums up how i feel about everything. I'm glad someone understands my viewpoint on this situation!

in my country its legel at this age. didnt answer my question to should i ask my mother wasnt helpful at all

I really do not think that you understand what I am trying to do with the pink teddy bear... he is meant to be a gag gift (something that I want him to be able to laugh at). I plan on getting him something else, I just know that it has to make up for the teddy bear.

Thanks so much!:)

thanks i took your advice and ended it with him (: im stress free.

Thanks alot!:)

Thank you.

thanks ! I decided to go! :)

ty :)

yeah he just told me he wasnt going to go, cause he wouldnt want to make me uncomfortable in anyway.... but thanks anyways

Good to know, Thanks :)

The reason why I rated you so low wasn't because I'm upset at you for not agreeing with me (well.. maybe a little). It's because I'm pretty sure I stated at least three times that I DON'T plan on doing anything, or telling him. In fact, I remember stating the fact that I definitely don't want anything to happen that would get him in trouble. You really gave me an attitude, dude. And I mentioned how I knew it was wrong like twice and you still lectured me about it. I definitely appreciate your (very brutal) honesty, make no mistake about that. But I seriously think you could have been just a TAD bit nicer.. just saying. Like I said though, I really appreciate it. Thanks man! :)

He invited me. And it happened already. She was a little regretful so you are right about that but otherwise it was GREAT!!! Thank you for your advice.

Thanks :)

thanks so much! :)

Thanks :)

thank you for being honest! i was really mad at my mom and i thought if we gt engaged then i could live with him instead of my stupid mom! i know it was dumb but i was ready to run away so you really helped me alot! THANK YOU!

Yeah thats what my mom said...now his hints about the gift are totally throwing me off I don't even know if its a ring now :( thank you for your advice!

Thx & ik bout the bluishing thing too but last year every1 said he liked me 2 so im not sure.. but im not wanting to date him lol but thx :D

ya i found that out today -_- thanks for the info

i know the guy we have talked before both in person and on facebook i wouldnt message a stranger

The thing is, I made the conversation quick, not him. So I think he got the impression that it was over.

Thank you, kinda gross but thanx :p

Thank you very much for answering I know it was very long we've tried on numerous occasions to set ground rules. My parents have talked to him soo many times and he promises to look for work but never does. They split their time between his house and ours now. They are mostly at his but they think that's ok then to come back to ours and stay a few days in a row and then leave again. Every time they try to set rules my sister feels Ganged up on and they go off to his house for a couple of weeks. Then she comes back and says he swears he's gonna do more but never does. My parents would never kick my sister out. I'm lucky I'm going to college in september so won't be around much anymore but still it should t be that way. Il try getting them to do it again. I think they're just fed up of all the arguments it causes. Thanks again.

Aww thank you so much! Really appreciate these comments, please show you're friends! And get them to comment on the video!!!

this totally makes sense.this morning my "friend" told me he wanted to apologize and that he wants me to text him. should i?

Thanks alot ! =) And I didnt crawl back to him, he asked me out the second time.. But i did say yes so I understand what you meant. I do like Sam alot and I wont go out with him until atleast a few months or so after my boyfriend. Although, last time I broke up with him he kept on saying we can make things work and stuff and he begs me not to break up with him and I know its not nice to say but he is kind of out of my league and he also said it so yeah.

Thanks! But I don't live in the city I'm moving to, and so can't see the newspapers, or signs on windows etc. Thanks for the advice though! :)

Thank you!

youre right.

Thank you!

thank you :)

yeah...well he already dumped me...thanks a lot...I know I shouldn't have been blamed...its just that, I did argue a lot and get VERY emotional...but it was mostly in the past few weeks where I started seeing condoms when we didn't use them, and I started noticing he never answered his phone....was all that stuff that was making me suspicious and uneasy that snowballed the arguments.....I guess I feel really guilty for starting them...but i guess if it weren't for his part too the arguments would never have started...so it isn't all my fault...ur right

Thanks my question had some incorrect statements in it do to spell check on it like again was suppost to be ago but you answered it fine thanks

Thanks

Thanks, all those emails and social sites over that past years. I should have been more careful.

Thanks!!

Was kinda thinking about that,and I'll do it!thanks!

Thank you, I went to the doctors today and found out that I have sleep paralysis.

Thank You! Just diet and exercise?

thank you so much for your great advice

We didn't take a "break" the other night she said she needed space because I was being clingy and too emotional. It only lasted one night. She said if i can't see how much she loves me then there is something wrong with me.

thank you!

Thanks i appreciate it really. But the thing is i havent seen him in over 2 years. I have most definitely tried over and ober again but i have had no success. I impose he's family & that's why i just want to end this.

While I understand that NA is perhaps not the best place to meet someone... I could argue the same thing about meeting someone in a bar. Thank you for the help. And for telling me what I needed to hear, but didn't reeeaally want to hear (oh, sweet denial), at the same time (haha.)

Thank you Braiden. I really do appreciate it. He does sound convincing, but now I know better. I was thinking to myself he really is a charming "dude" that's why I asked this question. I knew I couldn't trust him, and it really did lower my "like" for "him." Thank you so much, ffor opening my eyes.

Great thanks! no not at the moment but I'm planning to. Every time I have the money something comes up lol

The advice was good! But after two people answer, no one sees the question anymore. Sorry!

Thank so much!

Nice to get an outsider's opinion, thanks you :)

Thank's for the advice. I've been using this site for years now, and like your advice style: you'll fit in well here.

good point. thanks for the honesty :)

*Rating changed by L2 moderator*

thanx

You are so right! I've done my part, so I have no regrets. I'm kind of glad we aren't friends; she's 19 and NEVER has money, so its hard to hang with her; when I always have to pay. I feel a relief.

thank you so much

Oohh Okaii...Thxs Anyway

She says she never cheated? But she damn sure lied about who she was

Thanks Zane. I always appreciate your honest answers.

Oh, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding! And they do have rules for him, which is the sad part; The number one rule was 'You must pick up after yourself' and he doesn't. When he lives stuff on the floor, or dishes in the sink, I get bitched at for it, and I have to pick it up. I've told him multible times that it isn't fair that I'm getting yelled and cursed at for it, when its his mess. I told him he's 19 years old and he needs to take some respsonsibility, and get off the damn game and clean up after himself! Idk, it's just getting on my nerves. But thank you so much Zane! You're advice is truly, amazing!

thank you

Thanks

THANK YOU! You helped save me from the WORST decision of my life! He was 18 and getting with 4 other girls I know of. He said he would only love ME forever but he was trying to get all of us pregnant at the same time. He got two girls pregnant so far that I heard of and one girl has TWO babies by him! This is the second guy I dated that wanted me to have his baby and the second guy who was busy with a whole bunch of other girls at the same time! LAST BLACK GUY I DATE EVER!

I told my teacher about this and she helped me tell my mom now evevrything is sorted out

Thank you very much for taking the time to answer my question. Seems like America is really a wonderful place. The main thing, I suppose is that people have a mentality to develop which is never the case here at India. America amazes me Zane. I would love to come there sometime. Would you welcome me Zane if I come there. :)

Thanks for your answer

Honestly I find that you're being really rude. Yaz HAS had MANY issues with it, and I could honestly care less if you gained 40lbs, doctors say people gain that much weight when they decide to eat alot more. 5-6 lbs is SOMETHING to someone who is petite. I'm small and I would like to keep it that way. Also, I said I wouldn't be on a shot. I said oral birth control pill. You are very ignorant and your response is NOT appreciated. Clearly I am concerned so I was asking people who have TAKEN YAZ. Clearly, I'm more CONCERNED about a lung embolism. I said I would talk to my doctor, but I would like some feedback from women who have been on the pill and who have advice. Who are you to tell me I have it "quiet" (its spelled 'quite' actually) "easy" being on the pill. Your advice was absolutely not helpful. 5-6 lbs IS manageable, CLEARLY I KNOW THAT. BUT, being on this pill can make it harder to LOSE that. You retain water more, sheesh it's sad I can give you better advice about birth control than you seem to know. The reason I made such a concern about a lung embolism and weight is because clearly its something that bothers me. It may not be a big concern to you but it is for me. I seriously am disgusted at the advice you gave and I see you answer a lot of questions and it's terrible.

thank you so much!

Thank You!! I dumped him!

thankyouu!

I already do all that but it just doesnt seem to work well enough, any other ideas?

Id be going with one couple and two other guys, im just used to a group of girls or my boyfriend, i didnt mean alone. I loved the ones out of country but just wondering if theyr the same? thanks!

Thanks but don't worry, I don't like him anymore, I was just curious. And it's only one friend that told me this and she's living my life she just knows a lot of people and is always plugged into the school drama.

Haha, thanks so muchhh!

lol you are so right...I think i'm going to do that...just drop them off at his house.

Thank you for having a brain. That other "person" told my 12 year old daughter to have sex with a 23 year old man she met online. Thank you for trying to save my little girl.

Great advice, thank you. I also found an old backpack and put a bunch of weights in it to handicap me. Thanks again

Thank you!

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